May 24, 2011

the battle for self perfection will never be won.

for all my readers out there, this is what i want you to know. what i NEED you to hear.
don't spend your life wishing so badly that you could look  like someone else, or be someone else.

there are always things i find in myself that i don't like,
it's a daily struggle for me. i am learning to cope and get
along with the person that i am. sometimes, i hate what
i see. and other times, i try not to notice.

what a waste of life. so selfish.
there are so many other things that matter so much more.

i want to change the world. i want to make a difference. i want to write something that people will believe in and that will inspire them. i want to help somebody and make them understand what it feels like to be cared for. i want to share my love for knowledge and words with somebody from a completely different world than mine. i want to influence and be influenced.

i can't do that if i won't even buy a stupid skirt because i think it makes me look too fat.

i am working on fixing my distorted view of reality. and i hope that all girls reading this can understand how amazing they are and how much potential for good they have. women can and will continue to make the biggest difference in the lives of others. it's just who we are. that is what God intended for us. if we weren't so needed. Adam wouldn't have ever needed Eve. but, we cannot complete this mission if we are so caught up in ourselves and our vanity.

i need to believe in who i am and not what i look like. i need to forget who i was and let it better the person that i want to become. i need to smile. i need to laugh. i need to breathe.

and i will. i will.

because i am a fighter. 
i will win this war. and teach as many along the way as i can. 


Anonymous said...

You are the most beautiful girl ever, inside and out.

andy brienne said...

thanks for this, dear. (:

Court Thomas said...


Court Thomas said...

Oh, and please remember you are more important then any number on a skirt or scale.