September 25, 2011

30) what changed this month and what you hope will happen next month.
well, exactly a month ago from today i had moved out. i was spending my first night in this new place i was supposed to call home. i had left my my friends and my family behind, and was being forced into growing up. i had left the guy i love behind on my way. i didn't feel ready or prepared for what was about to come. i cried. i was scared. and my heart ached to be back home where i felt i belonged.

and now, a month later i feel good. i see my family enough and although i miss them dearly, i am okay. i miss my friends, but being able to watch everyone grow up on their different paths is so exciting, and i am okay. being able to strengthen my relationship with tanner because of the distance is hard, but will hopefully someday be rewarded. growing up isn't so bad or so scary. i am learning and growing and finding things in myself that i never knew were there. i love college, and gaining the knowledge that i am. i am soaking it right up. i want to continue to learn and grow and better myself this next month, this next year, and even these next three years. i have some goals that i want to acheive and it is so exciting being able to do those things on my own, without anyones guidance but my own. there are some things that are hard, and will continue to be hard, but i am hoping to grow from them and become a stronger, more independant, more knowledgeable, happier, more patient, less jealous, more mature and put together woman. someone that can face the world fearlessly and without doubt in her heart.

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