January 22, 2012

so, you know those moments when all of sudden something happens, and you don't know what it means but your guess scares the heck out of you? you know how in that moment you can't tell anybody what is really wrong because then the problem might become real? you know how lonely it feels to not tell anybody anything about it? you know how upset and frustrated and awful you feel on the inside and so those feelings get reflected onto others? you know when you can tell that your one single ally is annoyed with your behavior but he won't show it? you know that feeling you get when they tell you they will be spending time and money on somebody else for a few hours and your insides feel like they have been pulled out of your body, twisted into a million knots, and then shoved back into your body? you know those times when you are sobbing hysterically because you are already so emotional and then for some reason you just explode? you know how in that moment you realize how stupid you are being and you wish he would just cancel his date so you could explain everything? you know how you want to yell and scream at him and tell him that you had already turned down a date this weekend because you don't like dating other people and you want to yell until you're blue in the face, but then you don't because he really doesn't deserve it? you know those times when you sit and stare at your phone until you feel like your eyes might burn a hole through it? you know that uplifting feeling you get when you see that precious name pop onto your screen? you know how then you finally break down and tell him everything? you know how when once you tell them everything all of your fears subside and finally things come back into perspective? you know that feeling of stupidity you get once you realize how really dumb you have been acting? you know how loved you feel when they devote countless hours to calming you down and finding a solution to the problem? you know that feeling you get when you wake up to their words and realize that everything will truly be okay?


well, i do.
thank you. 
-shine on,
glitter girl.

No comments: