March 28, 2012

to my dearest friend,

i am so sorry for the immense amount of disappointment that i have put you through these last couple of days. i promise, i didn't mean to. i'm sorry that you don't think i trust you with all my heart, or that you doubt how much i want you to be happy. i want you to be happy, no matter what, or no matter with whom. i just sometimes get really sad knowing i am not apart of that, or adding to your happiness in any way. because then i start to wonder, if you really even need me at all. and that thought scares me to pieces, and overwhelms me. you don't deserve to be trampled with my doubts and my worries, and i promise it will never happen again. i sometimes just wish that i could be as kind, and good to you as they are. because they make you so happy in so many ways that i can't. but, that's okay. because i want you to be happy no matter what. or no matter who with. i just hope you know how much you mean to me personally. i don't feel like we tell each other this stuff enough anymore, if at all. but you are my very best friend. there is nobody else in this whole world who i feel more comfortable around. you make me smile, and you bring out the best in me when we are together. you have helped me overcome immense stumbling blocks in my life. some that i may have never had the courage to face had it not been for you. thank you for that. i will always remember that. i have learned to trust more, and what it means to truly put another before myself. i feel so completely devoted to making you happy, and being somebody special to you. because you deserve that. i have never had one person stick with me so completely for so long before in my life. you are truly so much different than the rest. don't ever think that just because sometimes i doubt, means that i think you are like everyone else. because you are not; in fact, you are the best thing i have ever had. thank you for being my friend. thank you for being patient with me. not many people would do that for me. you are such a great example to me of strength and courage, you really are my hero. 
if you ever decide to leave, i don't want you to fight your emotions. i just want you to be honest with yourself, and only stay around if it is making you happy. never let me be the reason you are unhappy. okay? promise me? you are my greatest and grandest friend. i hope you never forget that. thank you for everything you have done. it means the world.  

-shine on,
glitter girl.

No comments: