i feel like it was just yesterday that i was signing onto this blog for what i thought would be an eternity. i was saying goodbye and wishing those i loved well. i was headed off to serve the Lord for a period of 18 months. i was anxious. i was scared. i was excited. i was hopeful, yet i lacked. now, here i am, 18 months later filled with some of the same feelings yet about being home.
they call it "returning home" yet there are pieces of my soul that feel stuck there. in that poor run down beautiful island, i truly grew. i watched as others sacrificed and changed to become a part of something they knew was true. i watched them suffer, struggle, and rejoice at the finish line. the things i learned there, those people, will stay with me forever.
now i am where they call "home." i am surrounded by familiar faces, names, and voices. yet, i feel different. there are still parts of me that don't feel complete here. granted, i have only been home for 5 days, but still.
a friend who also served a mission gave me the advice to take some alone time to reflect and set some goals. help myself see because never again will my vision of myself and my future be so clear. so this is what i am doing. coming home has been crazy, and a little overwhelming. full of emotions and such. today i finally hit that "low point" everyone talks about. i felt pain and sadness. i felt the desire to be back there doing the Lord's work. i felt a longing almost.
but, like my sister says, we have to move on. in a sense we all must "come home." trials, experiences, they don't last forever. they are just wonderful pieces of time in this journey here on earth. nothing can last forever, at least not here. all we can do is enjoy and learn from the things we are given and then continue forward. i may not have much in common with these people anymore, but at least i know who i am, that i am loved, and that the Gospel is true.
i loved my mission. and i will never forget it. in fact, it will stay a part of me for the rest of my life. and it can help me move forward with real life. i know it won't be easy, but i have to do it. fighting the obvious is useless. being happy is the greater choice.
i have been inspired to take this blog in a different direction. but don't worry kids, i'm really excited about it.
glitter girl is back!